Sunday, April 26, 2009

Plz help me!!!!!!!!!?

I have 3 brothers and 3 other sisters, a step mom , step brother and sister. My brothers and sisters hate me, my step mom and step brother and sister. My father just found out he has prostate cancer ,they all got together tonight to discuss his funeral expences , they invited me but i couldnt go because i have no babysitter because my husband is working.So they decided to do this without me. they did not invite my step brother and step sister .They are suppose to be decideing on how to pay for his funeral if he doesnt make it and dont want my step mom or her kids there. Doctor says that he has a 73% survival chance. they could have waited till i could go. they do not want my step mom and her kids there because the funeral home said who ever pays for the funeral has control over the funeral . should i let my step mom know whats going on behind her are just stay out of it. also they wont let me be part of it but said I HAVE to pay my share. My step mom wasnt perfect but she loved my dad!

Plz help me!!!!!!!!!?
Definitely let your step mom know. Is she not married to him any more? Otherwise I would think she would be involved in this mess. It does sound harsh though. 75% chance of survival could mean he lives. Now's not the time to discuss burials. I wouldn't let them decide all this. Not sure why they think they get to take over.





I'd tell your step mom. She has every right to be involved. Probably more so than the kids. And be there for your father. His survival could depend on if the people who love him and who has positive attitudes. If that was my dad, I'd keep those negative people away. But don't let him see you arguing with family members around him. That's for closed doors.





Death can bring the ugly out in people. Don't let it happen to you. If the rest of your family decides to go there, let them go on there own. Support your dad instead. He needs that now more than burial plans.
Reply:Let her know or you could talk to your dad about your feelings and see what he says.
Reply:Man the deal sounds harsh, your dad has almost a 75% chance of survival and they are discussing his burial, wow , way to love your dad. i would look for a less hateful family, are your inlaws nice?
Reply:This sounds very odd... You don't have to pay if you don't have any say... What are they gonna do Sue YOU??? Not a chance. Why tell the step family if your family doesn't want you to? They will find out one way or another.... You don't have to be the reason. It sounds like you are looking for allies in the wrong places.... Know who you are and stay true to that...
Reply:first of all, silly, if your step mom is married to this man it is her funeral to put on, not your siblings. second, your dad will probably be living a long time. third, i would mention to her that your siblings want to take over his funeral, because she deserves to know that.





but if your step mom is no longer married to your dad, it would be natural for the immediate family to want to control the funeral and perhaps to not include these people who are after all no longer part of the family, in that case, you are the one who is out of line and should stand with your blood relatives.
Reply:Well your brothers and sisters are been selfish. They shouldn't be that way because it looks bad especially when it comes time at the funeral when they say who the wife is and why she's not there. And then to find out that no one had the decency to tell her. Your brothers and sisters are going to HELL. ANd hope your not liek them.


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