Thursday, November 12, 2009

Prostate Cancer vs Golf?

My father in law (FiL) had surgery 6 months ago for prostate cancer. His prostate was enlarged %26amp; had some kind of cancerous cells. He had a transurethral prostate resection (TURP) %26amp; didn't require ANY chemotherapy or radiotherapy. He went back to work (desk job) a fortnight later.





FiL was an avid golfer, playing at least one round a week for many, many years. But around time of diagnosis, he leant his golf clubs to my husband (who had leant his clubs to someone else) %26amp; ever since, FiL's clubs have been sitting in our back yard. I keep prompting husband to return them to FiL but husband gets angry, stating [FiL] "has had cancer and there's no way he can play golf!"





Both husband, MiL %26amp; FiL don't talk much - especially about things like cancer - so finding out the actual details is like getting blood from a stone. But as a nurse I've looked after cancer patients/TURPs who get back to normal duties within days and can start playing golf soon after.





Will FiL will never play?

Prostate Cancer vs Golf?
This isn't really something that someone without seeing him can tell. Be happy he isn't playing golf anymore, golf is ghey.
Reply:Take the clubs back to your FIL yourself and get him back on the golf course. My father also played golf three times a week. He also had prostate surgery AND a heart attacjk with triple bypass. It NEVER stopped him from playing golf. He lived for 23 more years and happily played golf whenever possible.





If your husband notices the missing clubs, tell him, "Oh, I thought you forgot so I took them back to your dad." and then just smile and walk away. Not much he can do once the deed is done.





Get your FIL back out into the sunshine and exercise!! He doesn't need to be sitting on his butt doing nothing in his older years.~
Reply:no co relation
Reply:Perhaps you could find some printed material on activities acceptable or allowed after surgery/cancer(specifically prostate cancer if you can find it) and leave them for or show them to your husband. Or maybe you could mention you have noticed to your FiL that he doesn't play golf anymore or ask him to teach you? recommend a support group?? Your husband may be having difficulties dealing with his father's illness, especially prostate cancer(it could be a male specific issue), it reminds us of our parent's and our own mortality. Never an easy thought. I commend you on your concern and hope this helps. God Bless
Reply:Could you call MiL and say you are tidying up the yard and saw the clubs - is it OK if you bring them over? Then if there is some reason that FiL will really not be able to play,she can just say no.





On the face of it there is no reason why FiL shouldn't play golf, but you haven't been able to get much out of them. The last thing you want to do is take the clubs back without checking and find you have just reminded FiL of the beloved sport he has been told he can no longer do.
Reply:Does it really matter if your FIL can ever play again?. The clubs belong to him and your husband is being child like by not returning them.

flowers baby

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